In recent scientific studies, preliminary results find that people who play ukulele are found to be more successful with members of the opposite than their ukeless peers. Test subject Andrew Appumopoulis stated, “Sometimes I’ll be sitting at Starbucks or wherever and the ladies won’t even look my way. Then I just bust out a sweet uke ballad and they flock to me like, um, moths to whatever.”
Further studies are being conducted as ukulele-playing test subjects are so overwhelmed by members of the opposite sex that they’re frequently too tired to continue testing.
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